Never a good imp around when you need one.

The odor of sulfur is a peculiar one. Humans often have a sharp distaste for it, complaining it has an aura of decay and death about it. Silly creatures often have the bad habit of confusing simple things. Its is not a morbid odor,but one of transition, and it is this transition that is misunderstood by the mortal. There is very little that is pure in the human body, if anything at all, so when an individual shuffles off this mortal coil, most of what is left is for me to harvest, the building blocks of my infernal empire. The odor of sulfur is my mark, my calling card if you will.

I breath in heavily, letting the nostrils flare out to their fullest, intaking all I can, its almost as good as new car smell. I will have to give humanity some credit, it is dark down here. One would think with billions of slaves at my disposal working for eternity I could get some nice track lighting or something, but no just random pits of fire spotted throughout a cavernous wasteland. I wonder if they have this problem with work ethic up in heaven.... Anyways, sometimes it is fulfilling to sit back and take a look at your accomplishments. As i said, i do have quite the workforce at my disposal, but this isnt exactly the great depression, and resources arent what you would call abundant. As for actually managing the operation, you have to learn how to properly delegate authority, I mean we know heaven's got the different choirs of angels, but have you ever been there when Ba'al and Mephisto get into whether to take the seventh circle art-deco or roccocco? It is infuriating to say the least. But I have to say it does look a lot better than when I first fell down into this molten ditch.

Now one thing you don't see in humanity but poses an interesting dilemma in these realms is the categorization of mythological beings. Humanity likes to think itself the sole occupier of the afterlife realms. I mean, the don't even think other living things have a soul. Truth is, every thing that has ever been imagined has a place in this mother's cupboard of existence. (Always thought that terminology weird because mother never kept the pantry well stocked...) Yet here I am smack dab in the middle of goblins, ghouls, gargoyles, and gorgons, trying to get them to work as a cohesive unit. Imagine the costs I had to endure just to make this place handicapped accessible. And that is the workforce, the management is even worse. Now I have mentioned a couple of my top deputies, but trying to keep a tight leash on all their management styles has really got me running ragged. For all those who wanted anarchy in hell, they got it. Some jackass even managed to pull HR giger outta Switerland to do the first circle. I swear sometimes it just makes me want to punch an imp....

To be continued...

Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus

Dave

I was at : 4308 NW 76 Terrace, Gainesville, FL 32606,